I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
