idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
