So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
