I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
