You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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