I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
