Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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