Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
