He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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