Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
