My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
