we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
