Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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