If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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