He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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