i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
