i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
