Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
