the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
