tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
