i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
