whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
