Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
