a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
