dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We are two peas in an std pod
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You're a waste of cheezeits
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
