I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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