just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
do herpes really smell.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
