so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
