you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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