i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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