What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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