in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
