I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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