JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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