Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
