she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
