He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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