My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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