I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
