Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
