I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
