The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
