I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
