I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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