He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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