mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
