I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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