I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
