I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
