I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
