im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
