it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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