i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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