It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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