I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize