you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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