It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
