'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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