Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
