After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
3 2 1 whiskey
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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