I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
